A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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