Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
