Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
