Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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