I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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