but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
