thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
