I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
