Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
