I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize