I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
