We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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