So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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