Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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