Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
