uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
