U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
