i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
