The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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