I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize