Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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