Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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