He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
