I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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