Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
