Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
