just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
