I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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