You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
