i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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