Im at strip club and am horny
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize