Do you still have your period?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
