so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
