He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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