Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
