If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
