Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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