Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
