So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize