god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
