he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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