were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize