I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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