Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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