ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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