I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
