you guys were way drunker than both of me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
