his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize