nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
