Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
