How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
