she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think I am morally bankrupt
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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