We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
