my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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