i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
