I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
